Hi! My name is Nicolette, and this is my recovery story.
There was a version of me - 3 years ago and even 10 years ago - that brought me to where I am today.
I started using when I was about 19 years old, and I finally went to rehab when I was about 21. I bounced in and out of treatment facilities and never seemed like I could understand why I wasn't fully getting it. I was heavy into using dope, and eventually started using a needle – and that’s where all my "I Nevers" finally came true.
After I had overdosed at the wheel, that was the moment that everything stopped feeling avoidable. It was embarrassing and scary and sobering in a way I had never experienced before, and it forced me to face the reality I was trying to outrun.
I finally went back to treatment and got serious about things, which led me to pull together a year and a half of sobriety at that point. But then I went to a bar for a friend’s birthday, got served a mocktail that actually had alcohol in it, and I was off and running again.
For 5 months I was drinking on the weekends but still trying to work the program. I realized that my life was heading down the same path, and finally got honest with the people I love.
Today, I have 3 years clean and sober! I did the things I did not want to do, went through the steps, and I am now sponsoring other women. I have a job at Avenues, I am of service to others, and help wherever I can. I went through the death of my dog, a breakup, and the death of friends - all in the span of one year. But I am still sober, and I rely on AA and my higher power to know that even though life still happens, I can get through it without using a drink or a drug to numb my emotions. Because in the end, it’s never worth it. Life will still be there, but I have tools today to help me get through the hardest parts - and I am so grateful for that.