Grateful and Sober
Hello! My name is Tabatha, and I am a grateful recovering fentanyl and crystal meth addict.
The Beginning of My Struggles
My addiction started young. First, it was painkillers. Then alcohol in high school — both until I couldn’t feel or remember anything.
I had my son at a young age and entered a relationship with a recovering addict. Soon, both of us were addicted to fentanyl. I lost everything — including myself.
When that relationship ended, I fell into another toxic one with an active addict. I justified switching drugs, but my life spiraled. I found myself sleeping in a stranger’s garage in a place I didn’t know, with people I didn’t know.
Hitting Bottom
Eventually, I detoxed at a family member’s house, but I turned to prescription stimulants (“scripts”) to cope. I worked long shifts as an LNA in a rehab facility, but outside of work, I was never home. I couldn’t stand being alone with myself.
Even when I had an apartment, a car, a good job, and custody of my son, addiction still controlled me. I fell for a man who quickly became abusive — mentally and physically. I lost my independence, my safety, and eventually my job.
Back at my mom’s house, I mixed fentanyl and meth every day. Soon, I was using a syringe and had nothing left. I wandered the streets, spent time with strangers I thought were friends, and carried unbearable shame.
I was Narcaned eight times in two weeks.
Attempts at Sobriety
I tried treatment several times:
- Gatehouse for a month
- Live Free IOP in Manchester
- Home Sober Living (HSL), where I stayed sober for a year but didn’t work on myself internally
When I moved home after HSL, I relapsed almost immediately. Within one day, everything I’d built in a year was gone.
But I tried again. I went to NH Detox for 34 days, then to Process Recovery. At first, I just wanted to graduate quickly. But when I returned to HSL, I started to really work on myself.
Finally Surrendering
This time, I surrendered. I prayed daily, leaned into the process, and began to heal.
After a couple of months, HSL asked me to manage one of their houses. I accepted — and I still love it. Today, I sponsor women, work in treatment, and continue to grow in recovery.
Life Today
Today, I am almost 2 years sober.
- I manage a sober house.
- I sponsor women in recovery.
- I work in treatment and love what I do.
- I talk to my son often and see him every other weekend.
- I’m working on getting my license back and planning to buy a home.
Most importantly, I truly love myself and my life. I have values, goals, and dreams. I laugh so hard sometimes I feel like my stomach will explode — because today, I know I deserve happiness.
My name is Tabatha, and I am a grateful recovering fentanyl and crystal meth addict.
Tabatha’s story is proof that recovery is possible. If you or a loved one is struggling with fentanyl, meth, or any addiction, reach out to Avenues Recovery today to start your journey.