Sobriety is possible – if they can do it, so can you. In this series, Avenues Recovery presents true accounts of everyday heroes in recovery.
MY STORY
I was adopted at a young age (11 months old). Growing up I had 2 siblings—my sister who was adopted with me and a little brother born to my parents who took us in. From as young as I can remember I never felt part of the unit. It seemed everything was always about my brother. From home life to sports, everything was all about making my brother happy.
I suffered from mental health problems—anxiety, depression, ADHD, anger—and was put on medications that made me feel weird and gain a lot of weight throughout middle school. Once I got to high school, I was a very big kid and that got me bullied severely. I wanted more than anything to fit in, be loved, and have friends.
Freshman year, I remember being completely against drugs and alcohol. Yet the few people who I thought treated me well were smoking weed and drinking. One day I was feeling so alone in the room with these few friends that I caved in and tried smoking weed for my first time. I did my best to not inhale and pretended I was high. That didn’t do anything for me feeling a part of, but slowly and surely I became an every-day smoker.
That progressed for about half the year when I was finally invited to a party by some of the “cooler kids” in school. We were playing pong and a friend explained the rules and promised me he was so good at the game that I wouldn’t even have to drink, so of course I believed him. Well, he may have been good but I still ended up with a cup in my hand. If someone had said “Hey Avery, this one sip is going to last the next 15 years,” who knows if I would have taken it.
From that moment on it was as if I had come to realize that drinking was all I wanted to do. The next day I was asking everyone to get me more—and that was the pattern for many years to come.
Spiraling Deeper Into Addiction
My life now revolved around alcohol. Fast forward many arrests, a few jail sentences, multiple relationships ruined, family ties damaged, places to live lost, countless injuries, and stories of things I never remembered doing—I’m now 26 years old and once again in a new area trying to make new friends and fit in.
These new friends were using cocaine, and one drunken night yet again I decided, hey, I can do that too. This really set my life into an even deeper downward spiral. Everything negative I mentioned before—all the losses—were now repeating themselves over and over, faster and more consistently. Except one thing was different: now I had an addiction I had to hide.
My behavior was getting worse. My feelings were nonexistent—I was numb to the world, and that’s where I thought I wanted to be. On the brink of death, life consumed by using.
Finding a Glimmer of Hope
One day I thought I had had enough. I made a call to my uncle to move out of state with him. I tried so hard to stay clean and only found myself deeper in the hole. In this new state I found new drugs and new people to want to fit in with.
I met the wrong girl at the right time to completely destroy what little sanity I had left. Backed into a corner with nowhere to go, I traveled back to my old grounds where all the drugs started. I thought running back would be where I could get a fresh start.
I got extremely intoxicated and was drunk-tanked that night. Sent to the hospital, where a kind nurse offered me help. I had never heard of help or treatment or anything other than using for years. I accepted her offer—and that started my journey of recovery.
The Path to Recovery
I went to an inpatient treatment center where I lasted almost a month, and then began the cycle of revolving doors—going in and out of treatment for the next 3 years. Each time I would go back to treatment, I learned a lot: something about myself and about the process of recovery.
Slowly but surely, and with many, many attempts, I started to believe I was worth recovery. I implemented the 12 steps of AA into my life, started working with a sponsor, and eventually began sponsoring other men.
All this came after finally being able to complete a treatment center and change my thinking.
A Life Worth Living
I’m proud to say that I am Avenues Dublin Alumni and now an Employee of Avenues Recovery Centers Concord!
This journey was long and emotional, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Today, I love myself. I don’t need to fit in or people please in order to feel okay. I show up for my family, my friends, my sponsors, the program, and anyone who may need help. Today, life is beautiful and I’m reminded every day why I do what I do.
It’s truly a miracle that I was shown how to live this new life—and I’m forever grateful.
