Having a family member or close friend who’s suffering from a substance use disorder (SUD) is a challenging and heartrending reality. And being faced with a loved one who refuses to get the help they so desperately need can leave you feeling all the more frustrated and pained. What to do?
Firstly, know that you’re not alone. In 2020, out of the 40 million adults in the US who struggled with a substance use disorder, only 4 million received treatment! Secondly, try not to judge or blame your loved one. Drugs affect the way the brain works, and they might be acting in ways that are out of character and reason. Realize that these attitudes and difficult behaviors stem from their drunken/high state, and the resulting inability to control their behavior. In this post, our team at Avenues Recovery, premier addiction specialists, share some helpful tips on how to get someone to go to rehab.
Key Takeaways
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6 Steps to Convincing Someone to Go to Rehab
Convincing a loved one to attend rehab is a daunting task, but with the right tools and approach it is possible. Try these 6 tips for your best chance at convincing someone to go to drug rehab:
1. Educate Yourself
Before you approach someone to encourage them to go to rehab, ensure you’re familiar with the topic and signs of abuse and addiction, specifically your loved one’s addiction. When researching, try to delve into these topics:
- Causes and mechanisms of addiction: Learn about addiction and how it happens. The NIDA’s website would be a great place to start. Armed with knowledge, you’ll be able to explain to your loved one why treatment is so necessary.
- The drug in question: Your loved one’s reactions will likely depend on the type of drug they are using. They may respond with anger, aggression, paranoia or anxiety. Be aware of the specific drugs they are using and their common side effects.
- Co-occurring mental health disorders: Your loved one might be using drugs to treat mental health disorders such as schizophrenia or depression. If this is the case, learn about the treatment needed to help both conditions concurrently.
- Treatment and therapy options: Research different courses of treatment and therapy available to help you decide what will best suit your loved one’s needs. These include inpatient rehab for more serious addiction issues, and outpatient rehab, where one can live at home and attend regular treatment sessions. Moreover, knowing about the different types of therapies can further widen your knowledge and enable you to provide guidance with confidence.
2. Have an Open Discussion With Your Loved One
With empathy, sincerity and warmth, discuss your concerns with your friend or family. You can mention his substance misuse and the negative impact it has on him and his surrounding friends and family. Try to have this conversation when you sense the time is ripe, such as when he’s sober and calm and neither of you are in a rush. Don’t be judgmental or critical. Try to use ‘I statements’ to state how you feel about the situation. This will prevent the person from becoming defensive. For example, you could say:
- “I feel afraid and unsafe after you drink a lot of alcohol.”
- “I miss the time we spent together when you were calmer and happier.”
It’s understandable that you might be experiencing feelings like sadness, anger, frustration, shame, or guilt, to name a few. Try to hold back the negative emotions bubbling within you and threatening to spill over, as that would be counterproductive. Instead, do your best to stay calm and express why you feel it’s important that your loved one goes for help. Be honest and kind.
You could then offer to introduce them to a counselor or therapist, or someone who can lead them to the best place of treatment. If you are met with resistance, don’t despair. You can always try again!
3. Plan an Intervention
An intervention can be an effective approach to dealing with an addict. What is an intervention? It’s a meeting of people who love an addict, often together with an intervention specialist, where the addiction is discussed and an ultimatum is issued: either they agree to enter treatment, or face certain consequences. For example, a partner might tell them that they will no longer be allowed into the house, or a boss might inform them that they will lose their job if they do not agree to the conditions offered to them. The participants of the intervention will also explain that if the addict agrees to go for help, they will help and support them in any way possible. Here are some examples of help your loved one may appreciate:
- Arranging their finances
- Looking after their children/pets
- Retaining their job for them while they are away
Although it might sound harsh, an intervention is really the truest form of love, since it stems from genuine care and concern for the well-being of the person suffering.
4. Don’t Wait for the Situation to Worsen
We know that facing the reality of addiction is uncomfortable, but try not to delay. The longer you wait, the more dangerous the situation gets. Waiting until your loved one reaches ‘rock bottom’ could potentially be life-threatening, and risks them overdosing. Also, the longer your loved one uses drugs, the greater their risk for long-term effects.
5. Implement a Treatment Plan
As soon as your loved one agrees that treatment is necessary, enroll him in the rehab that you’ve booked before the intervention. One of the NIDA’s Principles of Effective Treatment is to begin the treatment process the minute the person consents to the treatment plan.
6. Choose the Right Words
Before you try to convince someone to go to rehab, take a few minutes to prepare what you want to say. Choosing the right words makes a big difference to people suffering from SUD who may feel defensive. Practice these alternatives to some common mistakes:
Instead of saying… |
Say… |
I know what you’re going through |
I’m sorry that you’re going through this |
You’ll never change |
Making mistakes doesn’t make you a failure |
Why can’t you just quit drinking/using |
I want to help you recover. What do you say to this amazing rehab? |
Unless you quit, I’m leaving you |
I want to help you become sober and healthy |
Go get help |
Can I help you find the help you deserve? |
I’m ashamed of you |
I’m here to help you get through the recovery process |
You’re selfish |
I love you, but when you drink/use, you act differently and I don’t like you |
If Convincing an Addict to Get Help Doesn’t Work, Can You Force Them to Go to Rehab?
There are certain circumstances where you can force someone to go to rehab. If you have tried and failed to convince your loved one to attend a treatment program, forcing them might be your final resort. For it to be legal, at least one of these clauses must apply:
- If you are the parents or legal guardian, you may enroll your child in a rehab against their will.
- If the person is a threat to themselves or those around them, they can be sent to rehab without their consent.
- Court-ordered rehab and involuntary commitment may allow you to send the person to rehab against their wishes.
The fact that only people who want help can achieve sobriety is a myth. Most addicts refuse help at first, and once they’re in a quality treatment program, they make great progress and change their lives for the better.
Is It Ever Too Late to Help Someone With Substance Use Disorder?
Research has shown that it’s never too late for someone with a substance use disorder to be helped. No matter how old the person is, they can still quit using substances and embrace a healthier life. You should never despair and give up hope on yourself or a loved one, because help is available. With just one call, you can initiate the treatment process.
Avenues Recovery Can Help You Get Someone to Go to Rehab
It’s incredibly difficult to discuss addiction with a loved one. At Avenues Recovery, we believe everyone deserves top-notch treatment, regardless of their history or background. We’d be glad to help you encourage your friend or family member to go to rehab. Our expert staff have helped over 40,000 individuals break free of their addictions and live sober lives, and we can help your loved one too. Contact Avenues Recovery today to find out how we can help them turn their life around for the better and achieve inner happiness and fulfillment.
Do it for yourself, for your loved one, and their future.
FAQs About How to Convince Someone to Go to Rehab
What if my loved one denies they have a problem?
Denial is common in addiction. Stay patient, avoid arguing, and focus on expressing concern with specific examples of how their substance use is affecting them and others.
Is professional help needed to stage an intervention?
You don’t need professional help to stage an intervention, but having an intervention specialist can make the process more structured and less emotionally charged, increasing the chances of success.
How can I prepare emotionally before talking to someone about rehab?
Before talking to someone you love about rehab, prepare emotionally by lowering your expectations, practicing what you’ll say, and seeking support from a counselor or trusted friend beforehand.
What resources are available for families to convince someone to go to rehab?
Many rehab centers offer family support programs, counseling, and educational workshops to guide loved ones through the process.
What if someone agrees to rehab but then backs out?
Agreeing to rehab and then backing out is common. The best way to help them is to keep the treatment plan ready, continue offering encouragement, and remind your loved one of the benefits and support they will receive in recovery.
How to convince a friend to go to rehab?
The best way to convince your friend to go to rehab is by approaching them with empathy, patience, and understanding. Educate yourself on addiction, express concern without judgment, and offer support in exploring treatment options.