Payal Kakaria, BSN, RN, is the Director of Medical Development at Avenues Recovery Center. A registered nurse by training, she brings a strong foundation in patient-centered, evidence-based care and is committed to advancing high-quality clinical practices across treatment settings.
Key takeaways:
- Parenting teens can feel scary at times, especially if they’re experimenting with drugs or alcohol.
- Pay attention to your teenage child’s physical, psychological, and behavioral changes to identify an addiction.
- Maintain an open, warm, and loving connection with your child so they can share with you and turn to you for help.
- Be informed- educate yourself on addiction and adolescence so you know what’s normal and what’s not.
- Reach out to Avenues Recovery if professional help is needed, so we can help you and your child regain sobriety, emotional health, and serenity.
What are signs of substance abuse in teens?
As a responsible parent of teens, you’re understandably worried about them using substances. Unfortunately, as your child grows into a teenager, you have less and less control over where they go, who they interact with, and what they do in their spare time. Since you can’t keep close tabs on them anymore, they can essentially be exposed to drugs from anyone and anywhere- and you won’t even know it.
So, you’re concerned. You want to know what’s going on in your child’s life, and be sure they won’t fall into a dangerous rut that’ll be difficult to get out of. At the same time, you’re juggling the reality of living with a moody, withdrawn teenager, who was sweet and well-behaved just a short while ago.
Parenting teens is hard, there’s no denying it. You need to completely adjust your expectations and strategies to be an effective parent to the new person your child has become. It’s rough. This article will address this issue head-on by giving you practical tips to help you connect with your teenagers, know what’s going on in their lives, and pick up on whether or not there is something to be concerned about.
How can I know if my teenager is using drugs?
Dealing with teenagers can feel like blowing a balloon that has a hole in it. No matter how much you invest in the relationship, they might still remain moody, sullen, and even obnoxious. You find yourself ‘out of breath’ or emotionally and physically drained, yet it looks like your teenager is still emotionally charged. Adolescence is a rocky time for both teens and their parents.
Because of the unpredictable relationship, you’re having a hard time getting the information you need. As you probably already know, asking straight out: ‘Are you using drugs?’ is sure to backfire. Instead, below is a handy manual that can help you spot the signs of drug use in your teenager. We’ve split up the signs into three categories: physical, behavioral, and psychological.
Behavioral signs of addiction in teens:
As the parent of a teen, you need to be somewhat of a detective. Be observant, taking note of slight shifts in attitude, motivation, and social interactions. Very importantly- and this is a hard one- you need to be careful not to take things your teens say or do personally. Often, the way they behave may feel like a deliberate rebellion to spite you - but usually, it’s a cry for help. Try understanding why the behavior is happening instead of feeling personally attacked.
Here are some behaviors that could be attributed to drug use:
- Avoiding eye contact
- Behaving secretively
- Hanging out with new friends
- Neglecting schoolwork and other obligations
- Abandoning hobbies
- Always needing more cash
- Missing family events
- Neglecting personal hygiene and grooming
Physical teen drug abuse symptoms:
This is a tricky one. Every drug has different physical effects, with the intensity and duration of symptoms varying depending on how much a person is taking, and how long they’ve been using drugs. In other words, any unusual physical symptom, like diarrhea, hand tremors, lack of coordination, or red eyes, could be attributed to drug use… but it could also be a routine illness.
Instead, here are some general signs that your child may be involved in drug use:
- Being unusually tired or lethargic
- Finding bruises on the skin
- Caring less about personal hygiene
- Having unusual smells on breath or clothes
- Slurred speech
Pay attention to their eyes, which will often be red and heavy-lidded from drugs. Alcohol and marijuana, in particular, cause the blood vessels in the eyes to expand, giving a bloodshot appearance. Also, remember that these changes are usually not sudden - they happen subtly, so you need to be vigilant and look out for them over time.
Psychological signs a teenager is using drugs:
Psychological signs are also sometimes difficult to spot, since all teenagers go through psychological changes as part of their normal development. Below are some general guidelines:
- A sudden change in personality
- Depression or anxiety
- Hyperactive or unusually elated mood
- Inability to focus
- Loss of motivation
If you have specific concerns, please reach out so we can help you find out whether or not your child is struggling with addiction.
Is it regular teenage behavior or addiction?
This question is one that’s probably kept you up at night. As you observe your child’s behavior, you need to know what’s normal and what classifies as an addiction. If you’ve raised a teen before (or remember being one yourself!) you know that nearly all teens experiment with risky behaviors of some sort. It’s normal. In fact, every normal teenager will be affected by peer pressure!
But how can you know when your child’s behavior is not normal, but rather crossing the line into addiction?
Addiction is a condition that strips a person of their free will around their substance of choice. This means that when your child craves drugs or alcohol, no willpower, self-constraint, or threat of adverse consequences can prevent them from taking it. As a parent, this may seem crazy to you. You can threaten to throw your child out of the home if they ever use substances again, and yet, they may take another dose shortly after!
The reality is that no matter how great the consequences, a teen who is addicted to substances simply can’t stop on their own. Also, when dealing with addiction, drug use only increases with time. Addiction is also a progressive disease by nature, so a teen with addiction will begin taking increasingly larger doses as their bodies develop tolerance to the substance.
Where is the line between teen experimentation and addiction?
Addiction is frequent and compulsive, and interferes with daily responsibilities and relationships. Experimentation, on the other hand, is usually a one-off thing (or at least occasional as opposed to everyday) and is influenced by peer pressure. An addiction also has many side effects that one-off experimentation doesn’t have, like dependence, withdrawal symptoms, and a loss of control over substance use.
Occasional curiosity may not signal a problem, but when substance use begins to affect your child’s mood, behavior, relationships, or schooling, it’s a sign that something more serious is developing. If something feels off, it’s worth paying attention. Don’t ignore the early symptoms! You’re not overreacting by seeking answers, and you don’t have to navigate this alone. Support, understanding, and early guidance can make a meaningful difference for both you and your child.
Reach out right now if you need more guidance- we’ll be happy to answer your questions.
What should I do if I suspect my child may be addicted?
Depending on your nature, you may feel inclined to either jump in and save your child, or you may want to retreat and pretend you didn’t see anything. As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your child in the best way you know how, and no instinctive reaction is wrong or bad. However, it’s best to be strategic about how you approach the situation, so you don’t damage your relationship with your child.
If you feel like your relationship is solid, with mutual trust and respect, you can try broaching the topic with your child. You can ask questions like ‘have you been smoking?’ in a nonjudgmental, kind way. Make it clear to your child that they won’t get into trouble - you just want to help them out. Let your child know that you love them and will do everything to help them get better, if they allow you to.
If asking your child gently doesn’t work for you, you may need to snoop around a bit. You may feel like invading your child’s privacy is wrong, but the alternative could be much worse. As a parent, you need to put your child’s health and safety first, even if it means breaching their privacy in the short term.
Where will my child hide alcohol, drugs and other paraphernalia?
Teens are creative. They know exactly how to hide the stuff they’re doing from their concerned parents. If you want to find evidence of excessive drug or alcohol use, don’t look under their pillow:) You need to think creatively about where they may be concealing their stash, like:
- Small boxes or cases: jewelry boxes, pencil cases
- Have a healthy relationship
- Have honest, open conversations
- Create safety so they can share with you
- Be informed and educated on drugs and alcohol
- Show unconditional love and acceptance
- Inside over-the-counter medicine containers
- Inside mock soda cans or empty candy bags
- In between or inside books
What can I do to prevent my child’s addiction?
If your child is using drugs here and there and you’re worried they may become addicted, it’s a great idea to think about how you can prevent that from happening. As we mentioned earlier, you have less and less control over your child as they grow and mature, which can make you fear for their future. However, there are some things you can do to help them stay away from addiction.
Firstly, work on maintaining a healthy relationship with your teen. Spend time with them, have honest, open conversations, and create a safe space for them to share anything they want with you. Children who feel secure, supported, and validated usually don’t feel the need to use drugs or alcohol to make them feel better.
Also, don’t shy away from difficult or uncomfortable topics. For example, if they share views on drugs which you don’t agree with, don’t shut them down - rather validate their view and gently share yours.
Another important factor in helping your teens is being informed. Educate yourself on what substances are available, what your teen’s friends are doing, and the side effects of different substances. That way, you’ll recognize if your child is using earlier on, allowing you to broach the topic and guide them in the right direction before it progresses. The bottom line is: Maintain a warm, loving, open connection with your teenagers, while staying aware of what they may be up to.
Guiding your teen toward healing and recovery:
Parenting teens is tough. Every parent will agree that teenage years are rocky at best. And if your child is using drugs or alcohol, it adds even more stress and heartache to your teenage parenting. At Avenues Recovery, we know well the pain and fear that addiction brings.
With our highly professional and experienced staff, we have counseled countless young adults through the journey of sobriety and emotional healing. But when the parents are on-board and supportive of their struggling child, the healing process is much more smooth and effective. We encourage you to reach out so we can guide you and your teen through the path of pain and despair to joy, emotional healing, and serenity.