My addiction began the year before I had my son. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped using. After my son was born, I took care of him for the first year of his life. Unfortunately, my addiction took hold of me, and my son started getting in the way of my using. I asked my parents if they would take temporary custody of him until I 'got my crap together'. But honestly, that was just an excuse, because at the time, I didn't have it in me to raise him.
After I signed temporary guardianship over, I moved to Louisville and that’s where my addiction took off. I saw my son maybe three times in the eight years of my active addiction. My dad could not find where I was living to send me full custody papers. The courts granted my parents full custody without me signing and they adopted my son.
I got sober March 5, 2022. It was really hard in the beginning to be around my son. He called me by my name and he called my parents, mom and dad. I later learned that he was never going to be in my custody again. It was the most heartbreaking thing of my life, but I had to come to terms with it.
Once I got sober, my dad allowed me to come see him. I was not allowed to take him anywhere until my dad was sure that I was going to stay sober. After a year, my dad regained trust in me and I was allowed to take him out for the first time.
Ever since then, my relationship with my son has thrived! He is starting to trust me and has even started to call me mom. Our favorite things to do is play board games and cards. He asked me to come to his school events. And we even got to go on vacation together. I know what school my son goes to today and who his teacher is. I know that he loves science and that one day he wants to join the Navy. It is definitely hard knowing that I can never go back and be the mom that I know I can be. But I am so grateful that my parents decided to step up and that he is well taken care of, and for that, I’m truly grateful.
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