Hi! My name is Kristy, and this is my recovery story.
Fear, Addiction, and Early Trauma
My addiction and alcoholism were driven by fear.
For as long as I can remember, I was such a scared little girl. Alcohol and drugs gave me a voice and courage. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I always wanted to be somewhere else and doing something else. I was what they say “homesick at home.”
My first overdose was at age 15, and it was on a bottle of Jack Daniels in a stolen vehicle. I was in the hospital for 3 days with a blood alcohol level of .34. They told my mother I may not make it. That’s when I switched to vodka.
Active Addiction and Losing Everything
I loved every and any drug. By the end of my using and drinking career, I was a 34-year-old homeless meth addict who had lost her 3 children. There were at least 4 years where I had used every single day and often wanted to die. After multiple attempts and multiple psych wards, I had no hope for ever living a better life. I didn't want to surrender to my addiction or drinking, for that is what gave me my superpowers.
The Moment of Clarity
The moment of clarity came one day while working and going through withdrawal and not having it in me to get loaded. I was simply defeated, and I asked for help. Rehab was something I had never done nor knew anything about. Here I was once again that scared little girl, in a place where I trusted no one.
So I turned to the survival skill that I had learned during my active use: anger and aggression. I used this hostility to keep everyone away from me, not knowing their motives.
Facing the Past in Treatment
My childhood involved much dysfunction and every kind of abuse imaginable. With out a single substance in me, I felt that all of me was exposed for the world to see and that I was so weak. I fought through the uncomfortable moments, and I started to make some connections. I had no choice; there was nothing left for me to go back to.
Recovery During the Holidays
I was in treatment over Christmas, and it was my first Christmas without my kids. That was really hard, and I tried using them as an excuse to leave. But I knew that compared to what I had exposed them to in the past, they were going to be better off without me for this year.
The results of abandonment, neglect, and walking on eggshells were already presenting themselves in my children, and I didn't want to bring all that to the surface once again with empty promises and a strung-out Mom.
Building a New Life in Sobriety
I went to a recovery house once I finished treatment. I got a sponsor and started working those steps that I did not understand. I wanted to drink and use – really, really badly - but I wanted sobriety more.
I started a new life where no one knew me, and I liked that. I ultimately got my children back, but only my son returned to live with me. My daughters were too scared to give me another chance, and I had to be okay with that.
Growth, Loss, and Long-Term Recovery
I worked on rebuilding some broken relationships and became aware of how messed up my thinking was. I got married and divorced in sobriety, lost family and friends, and started over a few times - but I never again picked up that drink or drug.
I celebrated my 14th year clean and sober on December 7th, 2025 with my children and my closest friends at my side. I still cannot believe how far I have come and how far I still have to go.
Living in the Solution Today
One thing I’ve learned is to only compare myself to myself. Recovery is always possible, but everybody’s looks different. Sponsorship, meetings, and service are crucial for me.
I live in the solution today, and for that I am so grateful.